Chapter Four
Is it me or is it clingy in here??
Hello, my friends. I guess our conversations are turning into a biannual thing, huh? We’ve talked about this before: allowing ourselves the grace to not be perfect. So, I ask you to allow me to be imperfect in the timing of my postings. No questions about where I’ve been, shush. Let’s catch up.
Today, I’d like to talk about the intricacies and convolution of the relationships we share with those around us. Now, I don’t know about you, but no relationship has ever been easy for me, be it romantic, platonic, work-related, etc. You’ve heard it all, “Oh, it’s just easy being with him”. Or “She’s like the sister I never had and never argued with”.
I’m guilty of this. Of course, there are souls that yours connect with, speak to, catch on like wildfire. When this happens, our minds and hearts fool us into thinking that it is easy. However, maintaining a relationship is anything but.
It takes work, damnit.
I’ve never been one to be able to keep friends. Growing up we moved a lot, never staying in one place more than a year or so. And, I grew up in the era before cell phones were mainstream. (crazy, I KNOW, how DID we survive?????)
This led to me to not being able to keep in contact with my friends, grow up with them, share the confusing and horrifying experience of becoming a young adult. By the time I reached high school, my mom had promised that we could stay, and I could graduate from the same school that I was in. However, I think by that time, I had already trained myself to not become too attached to the ones I cared about. I loved them, of course, as much as you can love your friends at that age. But, I could also easily move on, graduate, and not keep in contact with them after we were no longer in close proximity on a daily basis.
And I have carried that into my adulthood. Not only with my friendships, but with my family, too. Even now, on the precipice of being thirty-freaking-three (the horror!), I have to force myself to maintain the relationships that I have in my life. I have to tell myself that “normal” people want to hang out/talk to their friends and family. I have to remind myself, “Oh, shoot, you have people who love you and care for you and want to know you’re okay. Call them maybe”.
Funny thing is, I’m completely different in my romantic relationships. I may be around a little too much there….which is a whole other story that we will need to get into another time.
I’m rambling, but my point is this: we cannot expect those we care for to reach out to us without extending a hand out to them first every now and again. I hear far too often that someone will not reach out to another because they don’t want to be the one reaching out first. How silly is that?
Hey. Again. Guilty.
But, this blog is about admitting our faults, having the space to do so, and learning to grow into better humans together. So, message your friend and see how their day was. Text your cousin and ask her to go to brunch next Sunday. Hey, call your mom, dude. Ok?
Let’s leave ourselves open to love in all forms. Whether it’s your family (chosen or given), friends, spouses, whomever. And let’s show them we’re making a freaking effort.
Until, next time, love yourself as much as I love you.
-Jo